The Pathway to Parenthood (2)

Parents are not only called to birth children but to nurture children in an atmosphere of love, faith, wisdom and stability.

Before becoming responsible for a child, a person must first learn responsibility over their own life. Future parents should be intentional about:

• Developing godly character
• Building healthy relationships
• Growing in wisdom and emotional maturity
• Learning stewardship and responsibility
• Establishing a strong spiritual foundation

Parenting is not simply about raising children; it is about becoming the kind of person capable of guiding another life.

So, the journey to Parenthood should start in:

• Prayer
• Intentional living
• Choosing the right partner

Prayer

You take your decisions to be a parent before God in prayers; whether biological, adoption, fostering or mentoring. Submit your decisions before the One with Whom you have to do.

"There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's counsel; that will stand."

— Proverbs 19:21 NKJV

So, seeking to know the mind of God in line with your decisions is very important. Having children is not starting a business; in the latter, you could easily stop when you realise you are on the wrong path, but for the former, it is far more complicated! You can't return a child you brought into the world.

There are parents today who blame their lack of achievements, pain, trauma and shame on their children. They feel they would have been a lot more but for their decision to have kids.

Knowing the mind of God concerning your life is a game-changer. It brings clarity and opens up a clear pathway to life.

It is also not too much to seek to know the manner of children God is giving to you. It would help you tailor their training to suit their gifts and bent.

Look at what prayer and seeking God did for others:

• Hannah didn't have the miracle of Samuel until she caught on to the fact that God needed a priest to replace Eli.
• Manoah and his wife received clear instructions from God concerning the birth of their son, Samson; and how they were to raise him.
• Moses' mother recognised that her newborn son was extraordinary; hence she went against Pharaoh's decree. She nurtured him into his purpose in God.
• Mary and Joseph got clear instructions from God concerning the birth of our Lord Jesus; even when they were yet unmarried.

So, it is not too much to ask the Lord to let you know the type of children He is blessing you with. He is always more than willing to help us in our life's journey.

Intentional Living

As was said right from the start; one cannot give what they don't have. We cannot consistently give what we refuse to develop ourselves.

Parenting is one of God's greatest assignments of stewardship. It means to nurture. To nurture is to intentionally support another person's growth emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

It takes someone who is growing in these areas to effectively guide another person through them.

Intentionally growing into the character required of a parent is essential in the parenting journey. We do not wait to be parents before that starts.

Abraham and Sarah lived as intentional parents long before their son, Isaac came. We see through the Scriptures how they raised three hundred and eighteen servants, born in their household, to be trained warriors (Genesis 14:14).

Galatians 5:22 tells us about the fruit of the Spirit; which is the character of God: LOVE.

God is an intentional Parent and the best way to become one is to imbibe His virtues. The Holy Spirit has been given to us to make this possible. When we allow the Holy Spirit to fully express Himself in us and through us, our character is transformed. This will help us relate better with people and build us up long before we have children.

Intentionally growing and developing the virtues of true parents will help us learn:

• Patience in difficult times
• Kindness even when exhausted
• Wisdom in decision-making
• Strength during challenges
• The love that reflects the heart of God
• Resilience and Grit

With these skills and virtues, parenthood becomes a natural flow.

Whether through biological parenting, adoption, fostering, mentoring, or caregiving; nurturing remains one of life's greatest responsibilities.

Worthy of note along these lines is the fact that sacrifice is a part of the parenthood journey.

Parenting requires sacrifice. It often means placing the needs of children ahead of personal convenience. It involves time, emotional investment, financial commitment, and countless acts of service that may go unnoticed.

Yet sacrifice is not weakness. It is love demonstrated through action.

Godly parents understand that today's sacrifices often become tomorrow's blessings in the lives of their children.

Choosing a Parenting Partner Wisely

One of the most important decisions on the parenting pathway is choosing the person with whom you will build a family.

Long before a child is born, future parents are making decisions that will shape that child's environment, values, and experiences.

Choosing a spouse is not simply choosing a life companion; it is choosing a co-parent, a partner in raising the next generation.

Every man and woman who desires to become a parent should be intentional about whom they choose as a life partner; because the quality of that partnership will significantly influence the parenting journey.

Parenting is one of life's greatest responsibilities, and children are often shaped not only by what their parents teach them, but also by what they observe between their parents. The relationship between father and mother becomes a child's first classroom for learning about love, respect, communication, forgiveness, responsibility, and commitment.

A parenting partner helps shape:

• The values taught in the home
• The atmosphere of peace or conflict
• The emotional security of children
• The spiritual culture of the family
• The stability and direction of the household
• The examples children learn about relationships, love, respect, and responsibility

Before committing to marriage, intending parents should consider important questions:

• Is this person emotionally mature?
• Do they honour God and value family?
• Are they responsible and dependable?
• Can we resolve conflicts in healthy ways?
• Do we share similar values concerning marriage and parenting?
• Is this someone I can confidently raise children with?

Many parenting challenges are easier to navigate when parents are united in vision, values, and purpose.

The right relationship will create stability, strength, safety and support.

Whether through biological parenting, adoption, fostering, mentoring, or caregiving; nurturing remains one of life's greatest responsibilities.

Continues in Part 3.