The Pathway to Parenthood (1)

When we say "pathway", we are saying a course of action or a process that leads to a goal. Our goal here is parenting.

Parenting is more than bringing a child into the world. It is a journey of purpose, sacrifice, nurturing, stewardship, and grace.

It is a calling that shapes hearts, homes, and generations.

In life, there are different levels of influence and impacts; parenting stands far ahead of most of them because it is at the very foundation of life.

The parent is the first point of influence in a child's life, especially the mother. Children would invariably depend completely on their mothers at birth. She becomes somewhat of a god to them. They look up to her as their sustainer, protector, nurturer; just to mention a few.

One mistake lots of people make with regard to parenting is the thought that it is a skill that comes naturally. While our bodies were biologically formed to produce babies, parenting however goes far beyond birthing children. It entails nurturing these children from birth into responsible adults.

Parenting is not an event that begins at childbirth; it is a process of becoming.

Long before children arrive, future parents are already laying foundations through their character, relationships, values, and spiritual growth.

This conversation is for anyone interested in building a family God's way and understanding the responsibility of raising the next generation.

The parenting pathway often begins long before pregnancy or childbirth. It starts with the preparation of the heart, growth in character, emotional maturity, and understanding God's design for family. This is because parenting requires:

• A deliberate decision
• A sense of purpose
• Sacrifice
• Nurture

1. A Deliberate Decision

Some very important questions one has to ask themselves while preparing the heart are:

• "Do I truly want to be a parent?"
• "Do I love children?"
• "Which do I prefer? To have children biologically or through adoption; or do I just want to mentor?"
• "Will children fit into my lifestyle or life's plan?"

Let me state it clearly here that one doesn't necessarily have to biologically birth children to be a parent. You can be a parent without biologically siring a child. That's where adoption, fostering and mentoring come in.

Mother Theresa, Mary Slessor, and Mama Ruth Eltons were all great mothers who didn't have children biologically. Yet they nurtured many children.

You have to be truly sincere with yourself about which of these options suits you best.

There's this pressure on couples to have their own babies biologically so much so that it has become a common belief that once a couple gets married, having babies should naturally follow. This has sadly led to the birth of many unwanted children.

The Pathway to parenthood starts long before a baby is born, adopted, or fostered. It should start with the preparation of the heart; learning what you truly want out of life.

2. A Sense of Purpose

When the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse becomes inevitable. What is the reason for having children? As believers, this enquiry should be directed to the very heart of God when He instituted the family.

Malachi chapter two and verse fifteen clearly states that God brought couples together so they could produce godly children from their union. What this means is that God desires godly children from us.

You see, children born to believers are automatically holy; sin nature has been dealt with and they stand a chance to relate with God without the baggage that holds back the ungodly. (1 Corinthians 7:14)

So, we see God's purpose for children goes beyond just populating the world. As much as He wants the earth populated, He prefers a godly population.

So when we bear children, we satisfy God's desire for godly children. And this is because we are believers. However, without deliberate godly nurturing, godly children can become ungodly as they embrace wrong training and values. Children develop in line with how they are nurtured.

3. Sacrifice and Nurturing

"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."

— Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

The above scripture clearly tells us that when children are nurtured; pointing them in the way to live ; the values they learn from that training will be with them for life.

Parenting is a ministry of nurturing. And just like godly children can be trained wrongly and given wrong values that would turn them ungodly, so also children born by ungodly parents who inherently are ungodly can be helped to become godly by the right training or nurturing; and this is where adoption, fostering and mentoring come in.

God does not bless us so that we can live comfortably. He blesses us so we can fulfil His purposes; one of which is raising godly children.

To nurture means to care deeply for another person's growth; physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

It takes a person who has grown significantly to maturity in all these areas; and is still open to learning and growth; to be able to nurture another in this light.

You cannot give what you do not have.

We will continue in Part 2.